See Me There

See Me There

See me there
Under a god's microscope?
So what? I have my own microscope!
Wonder who is viewing that God
through their microscope?
Where does it stop?
Looking through mirrors here
and guessing,
which one is me?
Or am I all of them?
Images of myself
in a fun house of mirrors?

See Me There

See Me There

See me there
Under a god's microscope?
So what? I have my own microscope!
Wonder who is viewing that God
through their microscope?
Where does it stop?
Looking through mirrors here
and guessing,
which one is me?
Or am I all of them?
Images of myself
in a fun house of mirrors?

A Grain of Corn

A grain of corn
Though small and young you be
shall lie beneath
the rich dark earth to be
a formless body
buried there.

Rise from the grave
and shed that lifeless hull,
oh soul.
Bloom from the dust
of Ancient Earth
and grow
clothed in a robe of life
eternally.

Lord,
make me like a grain of corn.
Let your face shine through
the silver threads of rain
like sun,
and raise my soul again.

When in Death's silent reverie
I lie,
re-clothe my soul,
and let it never die.

Lorena Johnson
1954

Love

Love knows no season,
No boundaries;
No self pride;
It harbors no ill will;
Encompasses all.
God is love.
To love like God,
We must put aside self involvement,
place our attention on others
And learn to be grateful,
Showing kindness in the face of
inhumanity,
Generosity in the face of stinginess,
and bear no malice,
Sacrificing even our very lives
For our loved ones and our country!

LorenaLila/Cami

A bit more about my beliefs

My Beliefs

Spirit sets up plans for our schooling by giving us different scenarios to pass through, much as a child goes from one grade level to the next in his youth.
The big difference is, that we plan what is needed next for ourselves before entering into a given (life)
We either fail or flunk each test, till we finally learn. It's called Karma.
One can only hope that we build a lot more good karma than negative to keep us moving forward to another level.
When I speak of Spirit in this context, I'm speaking of soul who is overseeing our development. We do not have a soul, we are soul. Big difference there. Soul has us(the little self) the mind and all it's trappings.
There are so many layers to this self, that we must spend eternity uncovering the layers.
Once we reach a golden stage of development we become masters and spend the rest of that time teaching others and assisting the overall process even though we are still expanding on our own.
The horizon is always beyond. God, itself is expanding, and learning. We are in that image and part of that body. We are a unit of this great spirit much as a slice of cake is not the whole, but is still cake.

A bit more about my beliefs

My Beliefs

Spirit sets up plans for our schooling by giving us different scenarios to pass through, much as a child goes from one grade level to the next in his youth.
The big difference is, that we plan what is needed next for ourselves before entering into a given (life)
We either fail or flunk each test, till we finally learn. It's called Karma.
One can only hope that we build a lot more good karma than negative to keep us moving forward to another level.
When I speak of Spirit in this context, I'm speaking of soul who is overseeing our development. We do not have a soul, we are soul. Big difference there. Soul has us(the little self) the mind and all it's trappings.
There are so many layers to this self, that we must spend eternity uncovering the layers.
Once we reach a golden stage of development we become masters and spend the rest of that time teaching others and assisting the overall process even though we are still expanding on our own.
The horizon is always beyond. God, itself is expanding, and learning. We are in that image and part of that body. We are a unit of this great spirit much as a slice of cake is not the whole, but is still cake.

Taking Charge

I was feeling very guilty this week because I am stopping the Pink Lady routine. I have enough to do at home and other interests and have become aware that I am not doing a service to the community. It is only helping the for profit organization that is the corporation that owns the hospitals around Indiana.
I am paying them almost a hundred dollars per month with high interests to take care of a debt that was my co-pay from a hospital stay and ER expenses, etc.
Since Pink Lady is strictly a volunteer thing, the corporation is making money from our doing the work that they would have to pay someone to do otherwise.
When I was called a few weeks ago to set up April's schedule for my part I was informed that someone complained that I had used my cell phone at my desk. I had explained to them before that I kept my cell phone on because of my daughter who has seizures and multiple other problems and I needed to check on her while at my job.
I had to call in on the one day that I was scheduled because I had to hospitalize her that day for an emergency and she was there for 4 days very ill.
So, when I was told I had to put my phone away and not use it, I decided that I had more important things to do than to fill the pockets of the big Corporation by giving them free help.
Now I know this sounds selfish, but I am already paying them lots of money plus interest for at least 2 more years. To be insulted on top of that was a bit much.
Here I am, trying to be loving and kind, but there comes a time that you take stock and stop enabling some people.
Both my daughters that live here have been urging me to quit anyway, because it seems like that every time I had to be at the hospital something more urgent was needed at home.
I have to take Marjie to her appointments in another county often and when there was a conflict of which to do, I had to make arrangements to have someone else drive her there. So, I have made up my mind to let the Pink Lady thing go.
Selfish? Maybe. Human? Right on!
I have to laugh at myself with all my struggling over what to do, but now I think I have it down to a simple thing...................Quit the dumb volunteer job. LOL!

INto the stillness

I just told my friend Sandy that I am trying harder to quiet the mind so I can go into the stillness. The mind loves to chatter away at us and is hard to get it to hush so we can go into the stillness and listen to the voice of spirit.
The few times I get there for even a moment, the stillness is so loud, it roars within my very depths. Spirit has so much to say and I am so lame at interpreting its language because I've not availed myself to the inner voice for too long.
As we grow old we become more aware of the need to get to that place and believe me, I am there now.
Stripped bare of illusion, I find that all that really matters is love. It is the only lasting, eternal thing we truly have.
I sit in silence and sing the Hu, calling on God to speak into that silence. It is evident that all that needs to be done is just to listen until the sound surrounds me with its love and light.
Sitting is very difficult for me, but I know that I must learn and do it with humility which isn't my strong point.
If the love of God can fill me up enough, maybe I can pass it along to my fellow beings. I now know that that is my only reason for being. To lend a hand to others who are struggling too.
Love you all and hope I can learn to convey that more clearly in the coming, troubled times.
Hugs!
Lorena/Cami

Beyond Illusion

Somewhere beyond space,
Beyond time,
Beyond what we perceive,
Behind, the Illusion of reality
lies the full soul
watching this thing we call Now!

The heart of all is there,
Dreaming.
Dreaming of what is,
and what is yet unformed.

It moves from idea,
to idea
As the concept grows
and educates spirit.

This great illusion experienced
by soul, is it's teacher.
As it turns its attention
from one setting to another,
It breathes life into each new
film.

When one story ends
a new one begins.
Take a seat,
get some popcorn
and enjoy the movie!

Lorena/Cani 2007

Was it a Hacker?

I now beleive it must have been a hacker that sent the ugly application. It would make me happy to find that is what is was.
If any of you get an application that asks, "Does anyone think (your name) would back stab you?," then that would confirm it is a hacker so please let everyone know will you?
Thanks to everyone.
Hugs,
Cami

Signs and warnings

In my religion we have what we called the Golden Tongued Wisdom. it is little hints dropped by Holy Spirit to alert you to an event about to happen or something you just need to be aware of when you need to take stock of yourself.
It could be a glaring hint or a subtle hint. I often get a phone ringing just before waking in the dream state that is so real I get up to answer it because it wakes me up. Sometimes I will hear my name and think it is my daughter or something like that. It always becomes clear after a day or two what it was meant to alert in me.
This past week I had the sign of the black birds which always tells me of a death imminent and usually is not someone in the immediate family or always extremely close, but just the same is to get me ready for the news. Also, I heard someone call my name and the next time my phone was ringing, all this was just before totally waking except the birds which were real.
One of the choir members died after seeing the gathering of the black birds and I attended his funeral Saturday. Two days ago the lady that makes out the Pink Lady schedule called to set up April's schedule with me. She let me know that there had been a compliant that I used my cell phone during the time I was at my post. I had let everyone know that I had to call home and check on my daughter. I picked a time when there was no business going on and assumed it would be okay. I don't know why someone would do this and was very angry that the person didn't say something to me face to face first. I told the scheduler that after all, we are volunteers and not being paid. I see other Pink Ladies just hanging around gabbing all the time to each other and I don't leave my post accept to go to the BR or get a drink and only if it is very slow. I have to call the person at the info desk to come sit in my place and often she/he is out roaming and I have to wait.
Also, the clerks that are in front of me interviewing people to send to thier appointments can be heard asking information of the patients and sometimes you can hear the answers. No one questions their professionalism. I recited all this to her and she said she never heard them talking. UH! I was even angrier by that time. I know that anger is not good and could only get me worse Karma, so I tried to calm down until she told me to just leave my cell phone in my desk and turn it off.
Was I wrong to be upset? Probably!
Then a couple of days ago, someone posted a negative thing about me on Face Book. It really shook me up. Thank goodness I didn't respond and I saw that no comments were made to it.
I think I need to re-examine my life and some of my ways and what is bringing about this negative Karma.
I know I am sometimes quite opinionated, especially on politics, so maybe I need to dial back a bit and realize we are all entitled to our opinions. I am trying to learn to be more loving to everyone and hope that no one has been hurt by anything I say or do. If so, please forgive me. I shall try even harder in the near future.
Sincerely,
Cami